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Quotes 2015
As per usual, chaps, please enter your quotes into the right section. If anybody would get the joke, stick it into 'General Interest'; if only you and a group of friends would get it, pop it into 'In-Jokes'. Feel free to create new sub-headings for your class, I would have put them in except I didn't have the booklet :3. TalesOfTheQuad.wikia.com would like to remind you to ACTUALLY FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ABOVE PLEASE. Some quotes which make no sense to the general population have been moved to the In-Jokes section, in the faint hopes that they make sense to SOMEBODY. Likewise, only in-jokes should be put in the in-jokes section. Add in quotes under whichever titles you think it fits. If you need to make a new subheading, e.g for a specific class, please use Sub-Heading 2 as otherwise the contents system will screw up. Session 1 Behavourial Psychology B "How many people in this class have actually been slapped by their parents?" *most people put up hands* "Exactly and we're all normal" "no we're not" *round of applause* - Conor, Cian and Aoife P.B "You told me that your dad was 6 foot 2" "I was talking about someone who had more....physical ability than me" - Thomas and Cian "Once, I got high on sugar, passed out in my bathtub and had a dream about a time-travelling jetpack." *casually sips 6th coke* "I hope it was a dream, anyway" - JJ "Hangmaaaaaan" - kellie "She has more cleavage than boob" - kellie "8pm hungover, 10pm dead from meningitis" - billy "9am breakfast, 9:30am mangled by bangle" - billy "They look suspiciously like swastikas" - Peter "What colour is the wind?" -Peter "depends on how high you are" - billy "I cut my tongue because I was licking the top of a tuna can. It was nice tuna!" - Conor "Let's lynch Gráinne!" - everyone "Shut up cian" - Cormac "Bob eating de gud lunch" - billy "The huuuuuman centipeeeede" - billy "You don't see 8 year olds in gangs" - Gráinne "have you ever been to Limerick?" - Conor "Ur nan" - billy ".....no." - Kate "I used to look like a boy" - kelly "We're going to disneyland, not bordeaux!" - Conor "Flavour stronger than Kellie's punch" - kellie *to the tune of bounce by Calvin harris* "do do do do do do do do, SAND" - billy & bob "surfboard" - conor "this is so exciting!" - rory "Georgia Piazalano needs her double soy mocha frappecino now or she'll kill someone!" - conor "can we watch the kellaaayy video" - most of class, "no." - Will "I can't put my hand anywhere because everywhere is your boobs" - billy (to kellie) Criminology "I value my hands" - Class motto "Men?" - Chip, also is Class Motto "Why does this not come up on the desktop" - Katie, TI "I blame the Japanese" -- Theo "If you have a uni brow, you are definitely guilty" - Theo "Its unnecessary to cut off a person's hand for stealing a loaf of bread" - Katie, TI "Actually it's not that extreme" - Bronagh "I really like my hands" - Finn "Exactly, just cut off his hand" - Theo "Everyone shake about to wake up" - Katie, TI *sings shake it off* - Odilia, Chip and Aleca "Is Alcatraz real, I always thought that it was made up" - Bronagh "That's Atlantis I think" - Aleca "Or maybe Azcaban" - Elle "I'm not transphobic my godmother is a lesbian" - Finn "I usually just write big words" - Chip "To make you look photosynthesis" - Denis *Gives group presentation* That was a little too much photosynthesis" - Denis "Hugh, why does affection disturb you so much?" - Aleca "Bronagh, you can't blame Hugh for you throwing scissors" - Aleca "When my parents ask me what i learned when i get home, I'm going to say that i learned ' not to ask'" - Hugh "You are so confused by females" - Bronagh (to Hugh) "Its the foreigner affect" - Denis "Is there an Irish Mafia" - Hugh "Well we have the IRA" - Aleca "What part of the navy was it?" - Sarah "The part on water" - Finn "I heard my name, but I didn't hear it very positively" - Theo "Maricat, the capital city of America" - Theo (in a game of Hangman) App Design and Development "COOL BEANS" "Let's get the LAN party started" - Various (when playing minecraft) "Make me an App" - Anon "Done" - Mark "Are we supposed to be working now?" - Everyone "I like apples"- Albert "I lost the game"- Michael "Turn off the games lads" "We should make a survey, and get them back," Japanese Language and Culture "I'm in it for the tentacles." - Andrew "Sugar is not a bicycle." - TextFugu "This (a bottle) is not Italy" - Thomas "That's no moon..."- Diarmuid "I don't autumn." -Caoimhe "Spare me my life! Take anything you want! I was robbed by two men! I have a bad case of diarrhea!" - Japanese aerobics video. "My microwave is broken." - Ciaran, the RA. "As you can see from this diagram, Obama, Leonardo and Freddy all reproduce asexually." - Thomas "Two worms "ko"-habitating! That's what you said! That's amazing!"-Rebecca "What a ko-incidence" - Kate "Fuck noodles" - Kate " *laughs* fuck noodles?" - Molly "No, don't fuck noodles, that's messy." - Kate "I'm not weird, you're simple" - Aislinn "My new favourite pastime is lynching people" - Kate "How do you say crotch bulge in Japanese?" - Conal "After about the tenth ricecake, they start to taste weird" - Ciara "Can I go to the bathroom?" - Calum "Can you say it in Japanese?" - Rebecca "Yes" - Calum "*sings* Everything's free in America" - Molly "I'm not sure that's how it works. Everything's very expensive in America" - Aislinn "Guys, who ate the chalk? We won't judge you, just tell us where it is." - Rebecca "Personally, I hate orphans. They get all the best roles in fantasy. End orphan privilege now." - Conal "Malachi is the prettiest girl in the room" - everyone except Iosaf "Everyone has a cat fetish" -Iosaf "Hey! Are those cat memes?!" -CiaraSuperSensei "Jordan, you're ignoring Iosaf" -Ciara "Oh, Iosaf you wanna go fuck the bathroom's free" *leaves with Iosaf* -Jordan "Hey, did you guys know there is a Buddhist Hell called "The Hell of the Flaming Cock"? -Aislinn "I've got one hell of a flaming cock" -Diarmuid "Give me something to hate" -Rebecca "Orphans" -Victor *everyone laughs* "No, no... how about puppies?" -RebeccaSensei "NOOOO!" -Everyone Cutting Edge Science (Eoin comes late) Everyone: "Ahhh Eoin" Kacper "God damn Mongolians" Killian : "Daniel stop playing with your anal beads" Kacper :"I like anal beads!" Eoin "Do you think I can still eat this" (General grunting) Tal : "that was a good stroke" Tal (to Killian) : "fist me bro" Robotics "ROBANTICS" - Everyone (originally coined by Katie, god bless her) "Cheeky NAND gate" - Senan "Cheeky Nantes" - Eoin's phone's autocorrect "Kevin is such a precious cinnamon roll" - Kate "Don't be such a fourth monkey" - Stephen "We're all 17 it's legal" - Katie "They're not round, they're circular" - Hanna "It's really soft and warm" - Alex "I was going for a three-way" - Darragh "I don't have herpes da da da" - Stephen "Can we watch the end of Iron Man?" - Everyone "Are you stupid? Horses don't cry" - Hanna "It can jump really, really, REALLY high" x 20 - Claire "How can the robot interact with the world around it?" - Domhnall "A knife!" - Claire "BATMAN no parents. Bambi sad. Aerial no mom didney why" - Search history on one of the computers. "I should only be taken seriously on dire emergencies. Like a fire extinguisher. You laugh at me, you draw faces on me, but when you need me, I'm there" - Hanna "The Shoelace Gremlin strikes again!" - Hanna/Katie "Filthy weeb trash" - Kate "Buzzfeed trash" - Stephen "Domhnall our Supreme Leader" - Everyone "Twenty to forty pages by Friday? Twenty it is so" - Eoin "Self-Directed Learning" LOL "Agar.io" "FERGUS NO" - Everyone *gets killed by "Feminism" in agar.io* "This is why we need meninism" - Stephen "Carry the butter in your hand and pretend it's your phone"-Hanna "Line your jacket with teabags"(When going through airport security)-Katie "Guys, can you dismantle the cow please"-Domhnall (instructor) "I had him! His epicentre was in my mass" - Alex "Lads, do you ever think that engineers at like google or somewhere get like really fed up and like you know, go like "lads, lads, let's go get a cheeky NAND Gate"?" - Mark Jennings "Wait we weren't supposed to take apart the robot?!?!" - Darragh Glynn "t's just two huge balls" - Magnus "My balls are really far apart too" - maghnus "He is two huge balls and just about merging" - maghnus "Oh my god it's Asia, it's huge and it puked on me!" - maghnus "I'm just going to sit here and eat all of these balls" - maghnus "My balls are getting further and further apart and I'm being chased by the salad queen"- maghnus *drives robot off table, robot hits ground and breaks, inserts chip backwards and robot emits large amount of smoke, robot is dead* "oh shit. Oops". - Fergus "I rebuilt my bed out of plutonium. I like the glow." - Fergus "Start pulling out..." Matthew "Who's doing the dick"-John "That would be me this time"-Tommy "Awh..... Kevin got eaten by aliens"-James "SHUT UP BEN"-Everyone "We're meant to do anything that motivates us!"-Stephen "..Facebook"-Eoin "Goddammit I don't understand thumbs" - Kate Students JUST DO IT. YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW - Everyone I can words. - Jack Moore. Session 1, Wednesday 1/7/2015 I hate it when you bacon.- Fergus Mc'Loughlin You're so mentally damaged.-(To Jack Moore) Cillian Russell. "Oh 800 pigs, not 800 kids" - Eoin O'Donnell "Better incest than nocest" - Hugh "I wouldn't trust myself with Hugh's penis" - Sally "The 7th Doctor endured the worst kind of death - death by the US healthcare system!" - Someone in Doctor Who Appreciation "It was we didn't start the fucking fire" - Kate "I know, but I couldn't say it because it was shit!!" - Darragh "#justdonkeythings. Staring at the side of the barn" - Fintan "If we put microwave popcorn into the toaster, and put that into the microwave, will we travel through time?" - Conol "I rebuilt my bed out of plutonium. I like the glow." - Fergus "Maggie fisting the other baby-wait....."-Katie "It's not authentic without the scars, scars are like STDs. They're proof" - jack "I was fairly sure he was gay for the first two years that I knew him" - Fiona "Cheeky Milano's" - Rhona "I donut" - maghnus "I know a good hiding place, the freezer" - maghnus "Feel the wrath of our dildos" - Fiona "I have sticky stuff all over my hands and legs from the dildo" - Fiona "You take the dildo- Fiona - oh it's fine I already have one" - Dylan "I can barely stand - ana - I can barely stand... This disco!!" - Darragh "I thought you were using darraghs hand - Senan - oh god no I wouldn't trust that hand for anything" - Ellen "Some people just want to eat their own cookies..." - Ellen "I was just taking it away from him(Darragh) so it wouldn't dip in" - Ellen "There's not really much inside space in them" - Ellen "Not time for going to the hospital I'll just do it here on the street" - oz "I'll always have a pair of latex gloves, I'll just reuse them" - Ellen "There's a ginger pussy on your legs" - oz "What kind of diseased cat are you(Darragh)" - Ellen "I did that in my costume last night" - Ellen "You're such a needy cat - Ellen - I don't even know what I want just give it to me. Meow" - Darragh "I hate those things because sometimes when you swallow they get stuck in your throat and it's painful" - Darragh "That kid's got stamina" - oz "My hand keeps getting wet" - oz "It was just threatening to stab me with a shiv made of semen" - Ellen "You don't eat cucumbers for the taste, you eat them for the texture..." - Oz - "and the money" - Darragh *pained voice* "it was so short!!" - Fiona "My finger isn't strong enough" - Amy "Use your thumb" - Senan "You are a posh drugby school" - Fiona "Just shove your hand in" - Rhona "It was so intense. There was balloons" - Katie "Don't fuck the pigeons Oz" - Fiona "I can't find a comfortable positions" - Oz "Portable glory holes #justgirlythings" - fiona "God now my hands are sticky too" - Dylan "The air is mild and moist" - Darragh "Look how big that banana is, it's like a foot big, oh god there's two of them" - aoife "He died as he lived. Lathered in peanut butter while being whipped by a priest." - Conal "We'll dress you as an 80s chick" - Molly "But I'm a 90s bitch!" - Padraig "I haven't tied my shoelaces in 4 months" - Ryan "One day I'm going to make a door. I won't have a house, but that won't stop me from having a door. And I'll have stuff holding it in the ground so I can lean on it, and when someone's annoying me I can just slam it in their face." - Ryan Game Theory Kevin: Hey Conor! Say something funny! Conor: I'm always saying funny things. Everyone: It's basically surreal. Eoin: She burnt ALL of their RICE! Someone: I wish J'tia was a TA at CTYI. Then she'd be J'TA. Dara: I just love mini fridges. Kevin: Why is Putin cool? Conor: This is why I hate Excel. It's a horrible horrible program designed by horrible horrible people. Conor: No offense to those who believe in the Church of the Lizard People Conor: Imagine you're on a bus with someone. I know. Crazy. Penny: Is there any Game Theory in Naruto? Conor: Have a discussion about it. Feel free to lie. Alice: What's the story, Voldemory? Alice: Snow! (Snail no) Ellie: What if we got really strong paperclips? Alice: Those are chains. Terence: Mmm, delicious fedoras! Dara: On Mondays we wear SIG. Conor: *Explaining mixed Nash Equilibria with an example about Darude and Skrillex concerts* Terence: But I thought Darude and Skrillex were the people doing the mixing? Penny: Uptown fuck you up Kevin: Story time with Megan! Yay! Megan: Can you pass out? Megan: Has anyone seen a tree before? Terence: Conor, my starter Pokémon was a shiny! Conor: I don't know what those words mean, but I get that I'm supposed to be impressed, and I'm very proud of you, Terence. You get a prize! Music Production "ayo fam wat do blad" - Kevin to his TA "I love me a minstrel show, Mama." - not sure "A hat killed his entire family." Bala, referring to Oisin "(scowls) You fed me meat...I didn't want your meat." - Sarah B. "Woah, Lian has tentacles!" - Kevin again "Hello, it is me." - Julian RAs/TAs/TIs "Do you value your knee caps?" - Richard "Have a happy monday morning"- Andrew "You're not allowed to touch the potato" - Richard *Singing* - Andrew "I used to be a vegan cake delivery boy"-Cian "The noodles of friendship are all around you"-Cian "Thanks, i made it myself. Out of money." -Andrew (on the topic of his hat) "I am sorry the sound of children's laughter offends you" - Sinéad (On the bus to UCD) In-Jokes THE "T" IS FOR SMART!!!- Everyone "I like badgers"- ? "Don't call me Rory. You do NOT want to see what happens when you call me Rory." - Claire Session 2 Students = RAs/TAs/TIs = In-Jokes